Client Story: Healing the Psychology of Loss and Theft

The Psychology of Loss and Petty Theft: A Case Study

A 60-year-old Māori woman came to me seeking to understand why she steals. She explained:

“I steal little things—groceries like meat and butter, small items from the op shop. Things that aren’t worth much money. The way I see it, big companies have been stealing from us for years, and now our people can’t even afford to buy a feed! So, **** them.”

We explored her behavior and discussed the broader impact of stealing. In the case of an op shop, the staff likely noticed but chose not to intervene, perhaps believing her need was greater. However, theft from supermarkets carries harsher consequences.

Our conversation shifted to her mental and emotional well-being. I asked her to reflect on who was truly being harmed. She realized that, beyond any financial impact, she was the one suffering the most—psychologically and emotionally.

As we continued, she brought up an unrelated but deeply troubling issue: people parking on her grass berm. She was becoming obsessed with watching out her window, anticipating confrontations. Many of these encounters were with Pākehā, who reacted with hostility:

“It’s council land, not your land. Who the **** are you?”

She explained that she paid to have the grass cut and took pride in keeping it tidy. The disrespect from others, who ignored her concerns, left her feeling dismissed and powerless.

I asked her where she felt this stress in her body.

“Deep in my gut,” she responded.

This physical response led her to recall childhood memories of her grandmother, who often spoke about how Māori land was stolen by the Pākehā. I repeated the words she had just shared:

“It’s not your land.”

Then, I echoed her grandmother’s words:

“It’s our land, and it was stolen.”

At that moment, something shifted. She became emotional, realizing the connection between her anger over the berm and the deeper, inherited pain of intergenerational trauma.

Through this conversation, she gained profound insight into how past injustices had shaped her worldview and behaviors. This is the power of conversational hypnosis—helping people uncover subconscious patterns, release emotional burdens, and begin the journey toward healing.

Shared with permission and anonymized for privacy.

Interested in learning how conversational hypnotherapy and Clean Language could support your journey of transformation?

Contact: Sally@pointchevhypnosis.com